Everyone’s Greatest Obstacle

I knew when writing yesterday’s post I would have to immediately post another, opposing side. The post was long enough without adding balance to the lesson. I mean there are only so many lessons we can learn at once, right? There are times my spirit guides start dropping information and I wave my hands wildly and say “HUMAN HERE! Remember that? I’m human… only capable of so much at once.” I mean two years ago I was just learning about essential oils.. this whole re-remembering thing has been happening pretty quickly and overload comes often.

There are strength in numbers as I said, inversely, there is a time to be alone. There is a time when you not only are, but need to be the single hawk. Being alone in the quiet is necessary for your own growth here on earth. Your soul is perfect and knows everything it needs to know. Your human self/ego, not-so-much. You’ll always find the narcissist person in your life who knows everything. (Just to clarify, this is not to be confused with a pain in the ass friend who has advice for many situations because they’ve been through a lot of shit, I’m just sayin’.) The narcissistic friend is living in their ego which is so much different than living as your authentic self. Your authentic self will admit when they are wrong. Will have no problem apologizing when someone says “You’ve hurt me.”

Our E G O is the hardest thing to get past. Ego keeps us in fear, it keeps us from beautiful moments, it stops us from apologizing. Ego says “I’m better than you and you have to be just like me to be acceptable.” Why? Because we are afraid of what we don’t understand so we live in ego/fear. If we could just move past the ego and into a place of the authentic self we could be so much better as a human population. The ego is needed at times, but not to the extent humans are abusing it.

When you become the hawk, you know there are times when you need to be alone. You need to sit in the silence and observe. You know your life depends upon your next meal and you need to be able to see that small mouse moving or the unguarded nest with eggs. You investigate and notice the small things. If a branch moves was it the wind? Was it potentially dinner which moved that branch? You’re not sitting in a tree kibitzing with the next door neighbor hawk gossiping about how single Gertrude hawk a few trees down had a lot guests over. You know you need to pay attention to yourself and your own survival. Gertrude’s issues are hers and they are not for you to concern yourself with.

When was the last time you sat in the quiet with your own thoughts? When did you last truly and honestly assess why you feel about yourself the way you do? To discover our shadow self and address the issues head on will bring tremendously healing. Our shadow self also has a light to it (again the yin/yang thing) as well as a purpose. Our shadow is the side of ourselves which isn’t all light all light and fluffy. Sometimes we have to do the dirty work, we have to be the yin to the yang. We need to embrace our dark side and use it grow. We can use it as a mirror to show someone their shadow and let them sit with it for a good long time so they can see the energy they are putting out in the universe.

LEARN FROM YOUR PAIN. The most difficult of lessons are often our best teachers. Thank the universe for the hard lessons you’ve learned. Listen, I’m not saying you should state “Hey thank you for allowing me to be abused.” A more accurate statement would be “Thank you for allowing me to understand what I need to teach my children so they understand the difference between good and bad touch.” Learn what you do and don’t want in your life. Use your shadow to your benefit. Learn how to control your shadow rather than your shadow controlling you. Hell, allow it out to play only when a situation calls for it and trust me when I tell you, there are times it needs to happen. When you’re done, tell it thank you, but you’re done and reel that shit back in. Pronto.

You must maintain balance in your life at all times. Here is my blunt, honest opinion. If any teacher you work with tells you that you should only be in light and love and you should never acknowledge your shadow, you have two choices. 1 – Tell them to fuck off. 2 – Acknowledge they are not living a truly balanced life, but see if there is something good you can glean from their teachings. You may be laughing, but I am serious. Life is all about maintaining the balance. Black and white, yin and yang, fat and thin, less intelligent and very intelligent, you get the idea. If you are not balanced you are not working at the highest capacity you can and you’re missing out on so much.

I used to hate being alone in the silence. Having to listen to my own thoughts scared the hell out of me. Why? Because that’s when the memories would creep in. I kept my mind busy so it wouldn’t remember the bad things. Guess what? As soon as I started DEALING with the memories and addressing them head on, I took away the power I allowed those memories to have and gave it back to myself. The memories were no longer strong enough to overcome my positive thoughts. I became powerful and strong. I got to decide what I would say and do and the impulsivity chilled out. Defensiveness? Mostly gone. Now I am able to meditate and journey and see things I would never have been exposed to previously.

The path to being balanced isn’t easy, but it’s worth the trip. You’ll have forks in the road, puddles, hurdles, potholes and whatever else you can think of try to get in the way. That’s all ego. Keep going. Why? Because you deserve it. You deserve love. You deserve happiness. You are worthy.

Peace and Blessed Be.





Strength in Numbers

I have so many thoughts running through my head for this post I can only hope to organize them properly so you may feel the same positive and powerful impact it’s made on me. This may be a powerful trigger to someone who has been hurt as a child.

Nature has so many lessons to teach us if we only take a moment to look around. As I was sitting on my lawn mower over the weekend mowing, I heard spirit speak to me and say “Look up.” When I looked up I stopped in my tracks. I saw not one, but two American Eagles flying overhead. The hair stood up on my entire body. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It’s rare enough, for me in Ohio, to even see one fly overhead but to see two? I was shocked.  As a shamanic practitioner, I knew in that moment, spirit was sending me a message. (I told my husband about them this morning, he said I probably witnessed a mated pair flying together.)

As I was mowing again later in the evening I heard something above my head in the sky. I looked up to see a hawk being mugged by two small birds. And I remember thinking very clearly “Oh look, it’s that time of year again.” These two little birds were screeching and mad as hell at the hawk. They were dive bombing the hawk to drive it away from their nest. The hawk was really struggling to get away. Fast forward to Monday morning on my drive to work down 75 South and I see the same thing again. Now I’m thinking, ok spirit, you’re clearly sending me a message, but I am not understanding. Help me out. (Picture my spirit guides smacking themselves in the forehead saying “This bitch here…”

I got home from work Monday night and I was talking to my husband asking him how his day was. He tells me “Boy the girls (our chickens) were giving the male duck hell today.” I asked him what he meant. He said “Three of the girls were going after him pecking at him as a warning.” And that’s when I *knew* my spirit guides were banging their heads against the wall screaming at me “OMG WOMAN WILL YOU PLEASE PICK UP OUR MESSAGES?”

OK I GOT IT! DOH! Huge light bulb. So many important things to get from this.

Hawks are the natural predator to the small birds on our property, both the wild life and the ones we are raising. Our chickens have us to protect and watch over them. We take certain precautions to ensure their safety day in and day out. What do the wild life birds have? They have each other. There is strength in numbers. I cannot stress this enough. They are not alone. One small bird alone is no threat to a hawk, however, let two and three of the small birds come after the hawk simultaneously and the single hawk must then move into fight or flight mode. More often than not, it will choose flight because it knows it cannot withstand the onslaught from more than one attacker. It wants to live to fight another day.

As children, when we are small if we do not have the proper protection from the adults who care for us, we are vulnerable and not able to defend ourselves. We are the perfect prey for the predator who can see from the bird’s eye view and know that no one is watching. We endure what we must so that we, too, may live to see another day. No one protected us in that moment. However, when we become adults, staying secluded becomes a choice. I am choosing to no longer stay secluded. I am no longer anyone’s prey. I am strong and there are strength in numbers. I am not the only person who endured hell as a child at the hands of an adult. It is time for us to stop secluding ourselves. I have been given clear messages it is my path to walk and talk and bring awareness to this crisis.

By using my voice and reaching out my hand emotionally, I am lending my support to another survivor. I am presenting the opportunity for the survivor to know they are not alone. Let me repeat this. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Allow your voice to be heard, even if you’re only willing to talk to one other person. Like the small birds warning the hawk, come out of the shadows and hold my hand. Allow me to stand with you. Together we will show the world we are no longer victims in the victim mentality. We are here to make a difference and help someone else just like us.

Eagles and hawks have the bird’s eye view. They can see for miles clearly because they are not on the ground, stuck. Our pain, anguish and all emotional baggage can weigh us down like a broken wing. When we are broken, we are still prey. It’s a daily choice as an adult to stay broken. Today, decide, NO MORE. Say this with me outloud: “I am no longer willing to be broken. I am no longer willing to do this alone. I have support.”

A mated pair of Eagles represents life anew, the possibility of a beautiful new life coming into the universe. Birth, abundance, fertility. In this time of Beltane we have fertility, renewal of life with deer foaling, eggs hatching, goats birthing! It’s time to heal the broken wing. Share your baggage with a therapist, a friend or me. Write it down and allow the weight from that burden to flow from your shoulders to that piece of paper so you are no longer carrying it alone. Even weight on an airplane must be distributed properly for a plane to take off. So too must the bird carry its weight evenly. You are ready. You are ready to take small bites of the past, digest it and move on. You are ready to spread your wings and take flight, embracing the new life ahead of you.

Come fly with me. Be the Free Bird who has so many places to see, but does acknowledge they CAN change. We are free. We are love. We are light. Our shadows (past pain) are a part of us, but they are not the whole of us. We are a beautiful symbol of the yin and the yang. We embrace our light and our shadow and know they made us into the perfect human being we were meant to be.

May the Goddess and the God bless you with new life and abundance to allow you the freedom you so desire and deserve.

Peace and Blessed Be