As I was thinking about my next blog post and how to continue sharing my journey into the metaphysical world, I had a huge epiphany. I haven’t written this post before now because I’m not sure where the words are going to come from or how they are going to come out. But just like the rest of this blog, it needs to be said and just put out there.
Thank you Mom. Please be patient while I get through the whole post if you happen to stumble across this post.
I was so angry at you for so many years because you didn’t see the signs of the sexual abuse that was happening to me. I incorrectly blamed you for a very long time because I didn’t understand how, as a mother, you could have missed all of the signs. I peed the bed until I was 12. I had many UTI’s between 8 and 10 and a kidney infection which landed me in the hospital at age 9.
I failed you in this:
My entire childhood from as young as I can remember you were very clear to me “Do not ever be in a room alone with <undisclosed person>. Do you understand me? It’s very important that if you are alone with him, you turn around and walk right back out.” You did protect me. You worked your ass off to protect me from this one person and I can honestly say I have very few memories of him. I was never alone with him. I don’t even remember ever hugging him without you in the room. You protected me with the knowledge you had. I truly believe you never would have thought about the need to protect me from anyone else.
I am so sorry I wasn’t able to understand until now how much protection you did provide to me. If you hadn’t, I shudder to think of what could have happened to me.
Our paths may no longer cross but know this: To my dying day I will love you. I acknowledge our soul contracts have come to an end and I wish for you in life all that you deserve. I am ever so grateful for the lessons you taught me in this life. I send you love and light as you travel down your own road in the universe to learn your lessons.
I now completely and 100% understand the statement you’ve said for years even though I hated it when you said it. I used to see it as a scapegoat, but it was more true than I realized.
You did the best you could with what you had.
Thank you Mom.
Ho’oponopono prayer: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
Universe hear me now, I release this anger to be transmuted into love and support for any woman who needs it. I send out Mother Mary, rose quartz pink love and energy to all of the women who have issues with their own mother. May this beautiful light wrap around them as a blanket and keep them secure and safe until they can feel this way on their own.
May peace be with you and Blessed Be